Being shy and being an introvert are two different things. In basic terms shyness is an emotion while being an introvert is a personality type. To the general public the traits of shyness may look the same as those of introverts. This often leads to introverts being mistaken as being shy. While some introverts but not all may also have a level of shyness there are major differences between the two.
If a person is quietly sitting in a corner in a crowded room that person will often be seen as someone that is shy however that person might be an introvert. An introvert that is choosing to observe rather than make small talk at least for some of the time. Introverts can and do join in with social activities however introverts can equally want and choose either not to attend or to be more of an observer.
The Shyness Test
There are free online shyness tests that can be taken to test your level of shyness. I have just completed one at IDRlabs.com, I was curious to see if I was shy in addition to being an introvert. In my Introvert Blog – INFJ I mention the Myers-Briggs personality test that can determine where you sit on the introvert – extrovert scale. If you have done the personality test and you are an introvert, it could be beneficial to also take a shyness test to see if any shyness attributes to your introversion.
There are 17 questions to complete on a three-point scale of Agree or Disagree. After completing you are immediately given a result based on your answers of Mild shyness, Moderate shyness and Severe shyness.
You will also receive a detailed description which was pretty much spot on for me. My result percentage was the low end of Moderate shyness. The test gave me confirmation that I am an introvert that has some shyness. There’s anything wrong with being shy, but you will want to work on minimising or crushing debilitating traits that are stopping you living the life you deserve. I am finally comfortable in living as an introvert, but we can all improve our self-esteem and introduce better self-care routines.
Everyone’s shyness levels will probably fluctuate as mine have done over the years. The times that were most acute was when I really cared about what others thought. After working on overcoming shyness with confidence building podcasts, motivational videos, and self-help books over time I’m now at peace and you can be too!
Entertainers with alter egos
Robbie Williams actually has two sides to his personality. While he is an extrovert on stage he also has introvert tendencies in how he lives his life when not performing. He is now known as the extroverted introvert. In interviews he has said he is an introvert doing an extrovert’s job for a living. To use Robbie in the example of shy versus introvert it’s more likely an introvert could pull this off rather than someone that is shy – without altering substances of course!
There are many entertainers that have their own alter egos they conjure up to step into when they are performing such as Lady Ga Ga and Beyonce. It is unknown to me if they are shy, introverts or just want to separate themselves from their everyday persona to a performer.
Research and my experience
Researching, through AI, I inputted what are 5 traits of being shy followed by 5 traits of an introvert. The results came back: Characteristics of shyness: self-conscious, timid, retiring, hesitant, reserved. Traits for Introverts: reflective, observant, thoughtful, independent, introspective.
Shy people often suffer from social anxiety even if they really want to engage in social activities. Shyness characteristics such as fear of judgment and low self-esteem can literally stop them in their tracks. Introverts conversely often will choose not to engage in social events. They are more likely to favor alone time to recharge or work on a solo project. Such as blogging as I am doing now!
Confidence hacks are there for the taking and are literally at your fingertips. I found these useful at the times when I felt shy and worried about judgements, I sought out confidence boosting resources.
Slowing but surely, I tamed my inner critic, worked on my self-worth and embraced being an introvert. This wasn’t easy as I have found being an introvert can be a bit isolating. You can often be the one that is different in a group full of more extroverted personalities. You can read more details of harnessing your quiet strength and building confidence in my post Introvert Blog – INFJ.
The spotlight effect
It’s natural to think we are in the spotlight and we are constantly being judged by others what we do, say or wear. To dispel this belief straight away you can ask yourself the following questions. Can you recall what your immediate colleagues wore last week? How about the retail assistants you had contact with, what were they wearing?
Unless the answer is ‘yes, a uniform’ you probably recall very little yet they in turn may put a lot of thought and effort about the clothes they wear. Everyone is the center of their own worlds as this is how it should be. We all should be living as the main character and not as an extra in other people’s stories.
This realization of people not caring in the way the spotlight effect could make us believe can be humbling. A positive and more practical way of thinking about it, is that it is extremely liberating! People generally don’t care what others are doing unless it’s impacting them. In turn then we should also stop caring what others think of us. As they don’t.
Shyness resources
With your results from online shyness and personality tests you can seek out the appropriate resources to help any negative traits. You don’t have to change into someone you are not. I now embrace being an introvert. Most of us though can improve our self-esteem and have greater self-care habits.
You do you!
Check out my website blog coyandcreative.com. Introvert life hacks, happiness tips and creative ideas to live your true authentic self.
