Survival plan for an introvert in an extrovert world
“Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.”
Henry Ford
An introvert’s INFJ story of discovery
A turning point for me in living as an introvert was reading the book, Introvert Power: Why Your Inner Life is Your Hidden Strength by Laurie Helgoe.
The key message of the book is right there in the title – Introvert Power. Up until then I had always viewed being an introvert as a negative. It was something to either fix or learn how to fake it as more of an extrovert to be accepted and not thought of as weird.
At the time of writing this blog I was curious what words would come up associated when I typed in ‘other words for Introvert’ in the search bar of Google and was disappointed when a list of negative words appeared such as awkward, sheepish and backward. It is only when I typed in ‘positive words for introvert’ that the search results listed words such as reflective, listener and deep thinker.
Personality test
Recently I took a free Myer Briggs online test at 16personalities.com where you can find out which of the 16 personality types you are identified by the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI). My result confirmed my personality type as an INFJ.
What does INFJ stand for? Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Judging. There are two types of INFJs and my result showed I am – Assertive Advocate. The other is Turbulent Advocate. Another finding from taking the test is it revealed my percentage score out of 100 how introverted I am. My result showed I am 100% introverted. No ifs or buts about it. I am an introverted introvert. In other words, in a stadium filled with introverts I would be one of the introverts, of the introverts.
INFJs according to the website https://introvertdear.com are the rarest of the 16 personalities which are:
ESTJ, ENTJ, ESFJ, ENFJ, ISTJ, ISFJ, INTJ, INFJ, ESTP, ESFP, ENTP, ENFP, ISTP, ISFP, INTP & INFP
This blog is focused on INFJs but you can find out more about all the types above at: Personality Types | 16Personalities
I wonder though, are INFJs really the rarest personality type? What I mean is would it be fair to say not everyone is completely 100% honest in answering each question even if unconsciously. Before taking the test, an important message appeared to answer the questions not as you see yourself in the future but how you are now. It is natural to try and gloss over or romanticize some hard truths. With that said I will accept it is the rarest personality type unless it gets proven otherwise or maybe in time another personality type will supersede the INFJ type.
Now that we’ve accepted that it is the rarest personality type and we are living in an extroverted world, what are we going to do? How will we cope? Here are some tips:
Tips for introverts
1. Own it
Embrace the uniqueness of you. It’s possible there might be some that view your personality as shy or even a little unusual, possibly verging on ‘weird’. I say, so what!
Let people think what they want. You cannot change what people think and chances are people are not thinking of you at all anyway, they are likely thinking about what is happening in their own worlds.
2. Watch Lucy
If you need a little pick me up and more of that up and at ‘em attitude, then I recommend you watch the movie Lucy
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lucy_(2014_film)
It is an empowering female lead movie starring Scarlett Johansson.
3. Listen to Podcasts
Podcasts are great to have on in the background while you are doing gentle, mundane or repetitive tasks. I recommend motivational podcasts as they incorporate happiness, confidence and motivation and also trying a few different ones until you find one that really speaks to you. There are plenty of free podcasts available. One site you can find these is The 13 Best Motivational Podcasts to Boost Your Confidence (wix.com)
4. Have an Exit plan
Have an exit strategy or back up plan for social events. Even if there is a social event that you need to attend more often than not you don’t need to stay the whole duration. Often just making an appearance is adequate. Remember the phrase ‘Feel the fear and do it anyway’ and just do what you can. It will be no good to anyone if you are so anxious that you won’t be able to relax enough to get through the event. If all else fails, have an excuse at the ready for why you can’t make it or stay long.
5. Alone time
Learn to be truly happy in your own company and indulge in hobbies that you can do alone. Check out my post Be Your Best Friend for tips to enjoy alone time. Here are just a few examples of hobbies you can try or delve further into for alone ‘me’ time:
- Reading
- Writing
- Mediation
- Walking
- Swimming
- Arts & crafts
- Online course
- Coffee at a cafe or have one to go and take it to the spot of your choice
- YouTube – has free educational content on a myriad of topics
My Arts & Crafts
A couple of years ago I channelled my creativity into online graphic designing and became hooked on Canva. Recently I have also started exploring a pattern design online tool called Repper. I currently have designs on Redbubble and KDP that have been created almost entirely from Canva and Repper. If you are interested in seeing what is possible to create through these graphic design platforms, you can check out my post on Creating & Selling Digital Art.
In Summary
You are you, there is only one you on the planet and you are here or a reason as much as anyone else. Be proud and don’t let anyone make you feel less than. Can you imagine a world filled with extroverts? Who would be there to listen and watch any of them? Loud, proud extroverts need introverts to listen, watch and take advice from. Who would be listening and hanging on every word of the top motivational speakers? Extroverts need us and we need them. Neither introverted or extroverted personalities should be the preferred or sought after, we are all just different.
Both extroverted and introverted type people can complement each other. Introverts INFJs need to remember we are totally equal in all ways to all other personality types.
Please don’t forget this.
To accompany this Blog you can check out my post Be Your Best Friend
