Guide for Introverts to gain more confidence
Care less to be happier is about speeding up the natural progression to not caring as much what other people think. It is also about caring less about outcomes. I have a few tips to share from personal experience that I hope you will find helpful.
Tip 1 – Care less what others think
The number one thing you can do to be happier and gain more confidence is to stop caring what other people think. Easier said than done, right? Right, mercifully though little by little, you should find a natural progression to not caring as much. This though is a very slow process. To help speed things up there are a range of things you can do.
Tip 2 – Get off all social media that you don’t need
If you don’t need to be on social media for your work or business, think if it is adding value or happiness to your life. I personally quit social media a few years ago. Generally speaking, in my experience it’s not really the place for introverts. The extroverts seem to dominate which is fine if you just want a little escape entertainment. The whole point though is to be socially sharing and contributing on the various social platforms. When I felt I was reduced to caring about emojis and likes, that was the time I knew I should quit.
Tip 3 – Limit negative news intake
We all need to keep up with world and local events to a point but this needs to be counterbalanced by good news stories. News related content is most often skewed to the negative. You need to make a conscious effort to both limit ‘normal’ news and seek out positive stories.
Tip 4 – Surround yourself with positive people
It is very easy to drop down to the emotional level of negativity of others particularly if you are an introvert. As the one doing most of the listening and observing, it’s critical particularly for introverts to seek out the company of those that uplift and inspire. Personally, I would prefer my own company to that of a negative person. I’m not advocating that for everyone though. As previously stated in my blog posts we are all different. Some personalities might do better to be with other people even if they are a little negative than spending a lot of time alone. To help with how you can be more comfortable in your own company you can read my post Be Your Best Friend.
Tip 5 – Shift your mindset, celebrate small wins
Small wins can include things like starting a creative project, having a good conversation with a friend or family member, learning something interesting or taking some much needed timeout. Slowly but surely your brain will start to shift to a more positive mindset, you just need to be consistent as the inner critic can be very powerful and will often try to keep you lazy and with negative thought patterns.
Free yourself from your thoughts
The sweet freedom you will feel when you start to care less what other people think is worth the effort – believe me. It was disappointing when I experienced through my education and at the beginning of my corporate world career not everyone will like me. Not only that but some found the need to make it crystal clear. My default persona is to be pleasant, approachable and professional still have found that is not enough to be shielded from bad vibes to actual bullying. These have plagued both my schooling and workplace, particularly early on in my career.
Through self-esteem practices and with natural life progression you will be able to breathe a sigh of relief as your care factor keeps whittling down. My new care factor now after many years is teeny tiny and not all consuming…phew!
In hindsight I should have made more effort, more often to not let the actions of others affect me as much as they did. It would be good to know how events would have played out if I had stood up for myself more. There’s no good though in ruminating as I’ve made the choices and now need to focus on the future. Sometimes it might be better to just let things go and this is what I usually end up doing.
Take the high ground
If someone hurts you, I know from experience it will do more harm than good to carry resentful thoughts and feelings towards that person. The time will be completely and utterly wasted and it will be you that will be negatively impacted. The other person you are thinking ill of will be going about their life totally oblivious. You will be the one that has a double dose of bad feels with maybe the worst dose being from yourself.
Everyone is different and every situation comes with its own set of obstacles but it might be worth thinking of changing jobs or moving. Moving on in some way from a situation might be best for your own wellbeing and mental health. Obviously, you need to assess your situation financially and in all the ways that are applicable to your circumstances how you move forward. It might also be worth talking to some form of therapist just for an outsider’s perspective. Sometimes it may simply not be enough to have a private part of your life to escape and divert your energy. This though is a great start to get your mind on other things that you are excited about spending time on.
Fake it until you make it
There are a couple of easy things you can do right off the bat to increase your ability to ‘shake it off’ and the first is posture. Have an image of a superhero in your mind, how are they standing? Chances are they are not slouching, they look strong and confident. Often they look like they can take on the world as often they need to do just that! When you want to appear confident in front of people conjure up the superhero image in your head and mimic their posture. Stand tall and ready to meet the gaze of others with a ready smile.
Success is sweet
There’s no good in working yourself up in ways to get back at others you feel have done you wrong. Two wrongs don’t make a right, I’m sure you may have heard, instead keep being polite and the person you are. We don’t know what others are going through and while we don’t want to give everyone a free pass to do what they like it is beneficial for all to always think the best of people until they prove beyond a shadow of a doubt otherwise. Success is the best revenge so put your efforts in your future you and what you want it to look like.
You will never please everyone no matter how nice and or attractive you are so you might as well be you, right? By taking small and consistent action you can begin to override immediate reactions of feeling defeated and down on yourself to gaining more empowerment. In my post Introvert Blog – INFJ I have tips and life hacks for introverts. These tips will help with shifting your mindset and laying the foundation to being more confident.
